Grief stretches you often.
It can feel like a rubber band that continues to stretch one way then another.
The latest movement has me at a baseball game. A beloved KC Royals game to be specific. A team adored by late husband and also my now boyfriend.
Throughout the drive up to the Kansas City many memories flash through my mind of the last time I drove the same highway. Two plus years ago with Josh - on our way to the Mayo Clinic - to see if there were answers.
We didn’t stop for baseball in KC, but had enjoyed a game six months before.
Reality Stretch … Back to present day, tonight the royals are playing the Twins.
The last time I watched the twins, was with Josh in Minnesota at their stadium. It was the last ballgame we attended together and it was special to fit in another stadium on MLB list.
Oh wow!! The Royals just hit a home right at us!! How fun! New first time memories with new friends…I am back to today. It’s good to be here but I have to push myself … “stay in the moment Jenn!”
Living in both realities is challenging. There is good to experience. There was good experience. There is a thread that links - in this case a love of royals baseball - but that isn’t the thing on which to focus.
In an attempt to be here and there, I take a moment to text baseball friends - some who Josh would often message when we visited any stadium. It’s a nod to the what was, who he was.
Grieving on continues to be an acknowledgment of what was and what is.
Sticking with the baseball and rubber band maybe it’s just a big ol’ seventh inning stretch.
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Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer.