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Grieving On . . . 

Grief doesn't end but rather continues as part of our story

Just Relax . . .

10/26/2019

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“ Do you have trouble relaxing?” was the question posed by the massage therapist. My answer, “It’s been a hard few months.” Guess that really is quite the understatement but was the easiest answer in that moment. My sister-in-law Julie and I decided to treat ourselves to massages while in Phoenix and it was very nice and needed. I was VERY tense. It could be the driving and traveling, of course, but could be like six months of built up tension, plus...

I tried hard to relax during that time and again later as we hung out poolside in the most wonderful cabana chairs. It was a great vacation resort - felt like paradise. But it couldn’t be.

In this ideal setting, with no agenda, I soon found myself creating my own tiny pool behind my sunglasses. How can I enjoy this glimmer of paradise without Josh? Would I ever feel like I was in “paradise” without my favorite person to share it with? Ugh! This is frustrating. 

It’s these thoughts that make it hard to relax as I return to them often. I know in my mind there are a lot of great things to do, see and even celebrate but my heart is still negotiating. I expect it will continue to for a while. 

This is the time for God’s supernatural peace - peace that passes all understanding. This peace isn’t just so I can relax on vacation or elsewhere but it is a peace that I need to face each new day. God knows it. I know it. 

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭NASB‬‬

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    Author: Jenn

    Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer. 

    Life for me weirdly continues on and I'm continuing to share my heart and journey here in this space as a way to process and hopefully encourage others in their grief journey also. It's not easy for any of us.   

    Read more about Josh's cancer battle here.

    Follow me: #jennbrownadventures
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