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Grieving On . . . 

Grief doesn't end but rather continues as part of our story

Memorable Floral Attire

3/8/2020

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This red shirt represents yet another treasured memory. 

I have looked at it many times in the past few months, but wasn't ready to embrace wearing it until this week. Yes, it's cute and could have been a good option many times, but each time I considered it, the cascade of memories was too much. 

You see, the last time I wore this red flower sweatshirt was on a springtime Josh-n-Jenn adventure to Hot Springs, Arkansas.  

It was a fun get-a-way a year ago in March. We explored Hot Springs National Park, ate cupcakes, saw the historic bathhouses and cutely held hands walking the streets of this tourist town. The pups even got to see some sites. Our ultimate goal, which we achieved, was to see the tulips in bloom at Garvan Woodland Gardens in Hot Springs - a beautiful place!

It was a relaxing and beautiful weekend, driving the small highways of Arkansas and seeing hundreds of flowers in bloom. We talked about what our future might look like and listened to our favorite tunes. This was about a month before life threw an unexpected turn. I don't like thinking about that but instead, choose to dwell on the memories of our stately adventure. 

But yet, I can't stop myself from thinking, "the last time I wore this shirt, Josh and I were trying to get a good selfie by the hot spring." He was also probably jokingly trying to push me in.  I, of course, have worn many shirts this past year, many with memories of our time together, but for some reason, this particular one stands out. 

It is fascinating how items like clothes, along with our senses (feeling, smell, taste), hold on to our memories – and even enhance them. 

As a fan of fashion, I might be more inclined to link an outfit to a memory, but don't expect it is only me. I suspect  many do the same. A friend who owns a local boutique once told me that she believes each item of clothing tells a unique story. This is a statement I easily agree with and is probably why it's hard to let go of these treasured articles of both my own and Josh's.

As I reflect on the memories made in this particular shirt, I wonder what future adventures might happen in this same red and teal floral print hoodie. No matter what they may be, I am thankful for the memories already captured on one very special  tulip-seeking adventure in the spring of 2019.

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    Author: Jenn

    Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer. 

    Life for me weirdly continues on and I'm continuing to share my heart and journey here in this space as a way to process and hopefully encourage others in their grief journey also. It's not easy for any of us.   

    Read more about Josh's cancer battle here.

    Follow me: #jennbrownadventures
    #grievingon

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