Grieving a Super Win
The Chiefs won the Super Bowl!!!!
And all I want to do is cry about it.
It was a thrilling game, filled with ups, downs, doubts and ultimately a victory for the team that my family and many friends were rooting for. I watched the game at my brother-in-law’s house - it was the perfect place to watch the epic event with those who mean so much to me. I loved watching my nephew and brother-in-law stress about the game and cheer in jubilation at the surprise ending. It was a joy to be there in that moment.
Yet in that same moment, thoughts filtered through my head and heart. “I wish Josh was here cheering with us.” I think we all felt it. Maybe me more than anyone, maybe not.
It took a friend saying, “How are you holding up? It’s gotta be weird,” to trigger the reminder of just how sad I was in the midst of smiles, hugs and cheers. More tears happened on the drive home and continued to flare up on victory Monday.
This particular sporting success is wonderful but I think that last one was better – the one where the Kansas City Royals won the World Series in 2015. It was not better simply because Josh was by my side, although that helped, but also because Josh’s love for baseball has long been greater than football. He was true to blue!! Celebrating that win with friends then was huge! And little was missing in that moment.
Do these feelings or comparisons change my joy over an amazing Chief's Super Bowl win? No! But I am still sad despite the exuberant celebration.
Although, I don’t really know what happens in Heaven, on day's like today, I like to imagine Josh, his dad, Danny; my mom, Carol and brother, Chris along with former Chiefs players and Christ-loving fans walking around doing the tomahawk chop. (oooooo-ow-ooow-ow-o)
It’s quite trivial I know. Of course, Heaven is about way more than sports victories but still imagining it lightens my heart slightly. I do believe there is abundant joy in Heaven and that is of great comfort.
The hope of Heaven is true.
“Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.”
– Psalms 150:1
“The heavens praise your wonders, LORD, your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones.”
– Psalms 89:5 NIV
2/3/2020 07:06:03 pm
I'm so glad you know where to go at different times to help you get though. I'm sure it meant a lot for you being there knowing if Josh was with you that's where you would be. Love you Jenn.
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Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer.