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Grieving On . . . 

Grief doesn't end but rather continues as part of our story

Goin’ On a Bear Hunt...

11/24/2019

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Picture
This weekend was good, enjoyable. I spent time with a friend at a great piano concert - which weaves so much into my story that I am having trouble putting words to it yet, but a post is coming. I enjoyed a casual nature walk with a friend/family member on some NWA trails (I think we are like sibling-in-laws or something), rearranged the living room - again, enjoyed soup at my favorite local place and organized my closets.

Overall, it was a nice weekend but no matter how many things I did at home and away - I kept coming back to this deep ache. I miss Josh. I miss him so very much. There are many moments still when I ask, “Did this really happen?” Sadly, yes. I can talk about it without crying but it doesn’t mean my heart isn’t pounding, that I don’t still feel lost in the woods.

For some reason a silly song from youth group has popped in my head. I think it’s the “Goin’ on a Bear Hunt” song. I can’t even remember all the words but I know part of it is:

”Can’t go over it... Can’t go under it... Gotta go through it... Stomp Stomp, Stomp, Splash...Swish, etc...”

Grief is truly the weirdest adventure to wade through. There’s no a way around it. I could try to avoid it but it wouldn’t help. I could try to run from it but I wouldn’t make it far. It is messy and doesn’t make sense, no matter how hard I try to make sense of it - accepting that fact is still hard.

So what do you do? What do I do? I sigh, cry a little and say aloud to the sky, the trail, the internet, to a photo of Josh - I miss you. It feels good to say it, to keep acknowledging this fact.

“I sure do miss you, monster-bear.
And I am so thankful for our many bear-hunting adventures."

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    Author: Jenn

    Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer. 

    Life for me weirdly continues on and I'm continuing to share my heart and journey here in this space as a way to process and hopefully encourage others in their grief journey also. It's not easy for any of us.   

    Read more about Josh's cancer battle here.

    Follow me: #jennbrownadventures
    #grievingon

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