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Grieving On . . . 

Grief doesn't end but rather continues as part of our story

Everlasting Everything (Tattoo & Love)

11/1/2021

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Getting a tattoo wasn't something I always dreamed about but it was something I had talked about before. The challenge was always - what would I want on myself forever. Josh and I had talked about various ideas - he was always going to do some Hebrew or Greek word.  For myself, I wanted to draw something unique or use the words "hope or joy" - maybe a bird. 

Since Josh passed away, I had really wanted to get a tattoo to remember him - not that I need a tattoo to do that but still . . .  For the past two years, I debated what. I  almost stopped and got one in California, then had an idea to do it in Denver with Erin but the timing didn't work. After much time debating, I figured out what to get one night driving home this summer. 

The Wilco song, Everlasting Everything, came on my playlist. Something about it seemed perfect! I should get the word Everlasting in Hebrew or Greek then add Love and maybe Josh's signature. From this point, this was the plan. I wanted to then do this on a special day; the anniversary of the last day I saw him, our anniversary or maybe his birthday. It ended up being his birthday. 

The day before Josh's birthday, another cool thing happened. I was doing some extra cleaning and actually looking for a good signature of Josh's to use for myself or his sister - who was also considering getting one. Inside his old computer bag I found old Hebrew study cards - and the one that fit was there. One side had the Hebrew word written in Josh's version of how he thought it looked. The other side the definition:  - Always, Everlasting, Forever. It was not written perfectly but it was HIS handwriting  - making it, to me, perfect.

I then went to work photoshopping together a version with this writing and the word "LOVE" from an anniversary card he gave me. 

I scheduled the tattoo time, was super nervous as the artist went to work. Now this writing is permanently printed on my ankle. To me it's perfect. It represents us, but beyond this it also represents and Everlasting Love that is way bigger than us. It's about God's love. A father who loves me and us with an everlasting love. When I look at my new tattoo - I find encouragement and comfort. A reminder of a person that loved me greatly and a God who loves me even more. 

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Also on this day, Josh's sister and younger cousin Emily (who has the same birthday as Josh) also got tattoos representing Josh. We basically did it together but in different locations (me in Missouri, they in Colorado). It was a truly special day! 



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    Author: Jenn

    Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer. 

    Life for me weirdly continues on and I'm continuing to share my heart and journey here in this space as a way to process and hopefully encourage others in their grief journey also. It's not easy for any of us.   

    Read more about Josh's cancer battle here.

    Follow me: #jennbrownadventures
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