I expected today to be more tear-filled with nearly eight hours of drive time on the docket but I think really my mind and heart are still negotiating all of the thoughts and feelings in this season. As I cruised the less busy roads of Kansas and stopped in coffee shops in small towns, I could feel myself unwinding. No real pressure to be anywhere specific, with time to explore, take photos and soak in the simplicity of it all.
I truly was just enjoying the journey. The day started with great conversations about life and family with my cousin (and his wife) and included discovering new fun places in Wichita. Again, I roped people into taking silly photos with me - because it really is fun and I need people to be in photos with me. :)
Our conversations, along with the drive had me really thinking about grief and how we handle it as individuals, as families and a culture. Watching the sunset on my drive West near the end of the night, I began to wonder if the subtly and beauty of it might even represent grief. There is beauty in still available in the change but it's hard to know when it is going to end. There is also disappointment that the day is over, and a "sigh" that the beautiful perfect moment has changed into something different. This may not make sense at all - so I'll say I'm still "workshopping" this whole concept. I do know the beauty of it all captivated my heart and mind for several moments.
The end cap and highlight of my day was hugging my sister (in-law) again upon arriving in Denver. She has been a true rock and friend to me as we both navigate Josh's passing.
Now for some much needed rest after a long day of driving and thinking. Tomorrow will be a new day of adventure . . . in Colorado!
Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer.