Last night, we watched the movie Rocketman about Elton John. It’s a tough story in many ways as this talented artist struggled much early in his career. What I enjoyed about the film was how Elton’s music and creative outfits weaved throughout the film. The part that got me though was the singing of the song, “Your Song.”
Josh and I have belted out this song to each other many times over the years, it was even part of a medley in one of our favorite movies, Moulin Rouge, and was, of course, part of our wedding music playlist.
The song's chorus is captivating and beautiful.
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple,
but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind,
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I even have a clip of Josh singing part of the song (not so beautifully) in our proposal video from 2002. (See below. You can also watch a shorten recap version of our proposal video or thefull length one here.
As the song played on our TV last night, and even when writing this, I teared up thinking, “how wonderful life is that Josh is in the world.”
So much has changed since April and I think often about how much I miss the silly, singing, smiling, expressive Josh that I have spent more than 24 years with. Then, I pause, glance over at him and can’t help but feel some joy that he is still beside me. Even though he is different, I can still hug him, love him and care for him in a whole new, unexpected way.
I am thankful for each day we have together, even if the day means seeing Josh sleep for hours upon hours and then waking up to eat one meal, to watch a movie, to sit on the porch for 30 minutes, or simply to move to a new spot.
It is crushing to watch the person you love drift from the person that you have always known. It’s hard to watch as this happens over a few years, like my grandmother facing Alzheimer's, or even in just a few weeks or months, like Josh. In the same way, it is crushing to see someone you love leave this world. There is no comparison of the two but just an acknowledgment that both have a tremendous weight to them.
Even still, we continue to trust that God is our strength and song as we move through each moment and heartache. God's truth continues to serve as a reminder that no matter how heavy the season feels, there is much more to our love story than what we see in today's reality.
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. “ – 1 Corinthians 4:16-18
Here is also a link to Joshs' message at LifePoint Church where he used our proposal video to intro his teaching message, "Non-Stop"
A few pics from our latest outdoor adventures on the porch and even a neighborhood stroll.
In April of 2019, we learned that Josh had a large brain tumor, a glioblastoma, in the middle of his brain. At the age of 41, this was quite the surprise. Josh sadly passed away after a short battle on September 30, 2019.
View his obituary
These past months, we've navigated the complexities of treatment, and hospice care and learned that there wasn't really treatment and that in Josh's case, the tumor was inoperable.
We're sharing our hearts and experience as we navigate this unexpected turn and God's goodness in the middle of it. We hope to encourage others by sharing our story.
Thank you for following along with our journey even in grief.
Feel free to message us.
If you'd like to donate to medical expenses, here's a link or you can email us questions
More about Josh & Jenn
Jenn Brown is the author of this site, a loving wife and communications guru.
Josh Brown most recently served on staff at Fellowship Bible Church in NWA as a Springdale Community Pastor. We've served in ministry in Missouri, Texas, Virginia and Nevada.
Cancer has been big part of our story. Josh has battled cancer three times already with the first to being non-Hodgkins lymphoma at ages 15 and 25 and the third thyroid cancer last year and a GBM, brain tumor this year.
Jenn's mom, Carol passed away from breast cancer 21 years ago and her father also went through treatments for Chronic Leukemia (CLL) in 2017 and is doing well now.
Friends & Family
We have been so encouraged by friends and family. Thank you for the practical ways you are caring for us! We love you all! This is just few photo highlights of some meaningful moments.