Driving back from an afternoon and evening of talking, laughing, shopping and eating I shared with Erin that I didn't miss Josh as much today. Maybe because this day was more active with fun activities, deep conversations and great company or because there were new things to see and do.
We spent the evening in Golden, Colorado, eating at Erin's favorite place, walking the streets, enjoying window shopping and and more. Maybe that's why the idea of "Stay Golden" is in my mind. The phrase has lots of meanings but one I found states, "To not let all the troubles of life overshadow the simple joys," which to me seems perfect for this journey I am on.
There is a lot of heartache and sorrow with Josh passing away, and even in the previous six months of learning about him having brain cancer, doing treatment and entering hospice. These events cast really large shadows - making it hard to even want to seek out an opportunity for joy. Yet it's still possible.
As I shared in my silly video "road ramble" today, and other previous posts, grief still has room for both joy and sorrow. I want to face the sorrow part honestly – not run from it – but still want to laugh with friends and family and find joy in giant cinnamon rolls, great friendships, tasty meals and "spooky statues" that cause people (Erin) to jump unnecessarily.
Maybe the joy I experienced today helped me miss Josh 1% less today, maybe not, but it was good. Good joy that at root comes from a good God. Interestingly, the verse of the day in The Message reads:
"I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God."
- Psalm 27:14 (MSG)
Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer.