A simple question. "What's your name?"
A not so simple question, "Tell me something fun about yourself, about your family or hobbies?"
A year ago, I could easily throw out some things like teaching music, hanging with my spouse, traveling, writing, etc. Today, while these things are still true, there's a whole new thread that taints my view of fun, especially the last two on the list. Why am I writing more or traveling around the country processing my life? Because of this dramatic event that has and is continuing to shape my heart, my life and my answers to basic questions.
I had gotten comfortable with the basic, "How are you doing?" question, but new ones still catch me off guard. I didn't have an answer prepared for, "What do you do for fun..." And although, I wanted to run from the room as soon as the question was announced, I did manage to make it through the round-robin of introductions and stated that I have been writing all about my life, which has been hard this year, on a blog that people can read.
I felt tense when talking and upon leaving had to spend a few extra moments processing, breathing and rambling in my car at my phone before feeling (slightly) recovered.
As I've said said so many times, grief is a process and sometimes, I feel like I get tripped by grief in the middle of the simplest task. Kind of like how you sometimes trip over the smallest crack in the sidewalk while walking or running for no real reason and end up awkwardly landing on your knees or even worse your face (Yea, most of us have done that.).
The summary of this post: It's not always easy to answer the easiest questions.
And yea, we might trip and awkwardly fall flat during our audible answers - even if we are the only ones who notice it.
Hi! It's Jenn Brown, writing my story that is now slightly different as we enter a season of new grief. On September 30, 2019, my dear husband Josh passed away after battling brain cancer.